Marriage is the highest form of interpersonal commitment and friendship achievable between sexually attracted persons.

Daniel Maguire

A complete wedding liturgy for gay and lesbian couples was created by the Uniting Network Australia.  Much of the liturgy is covered by copyright.  Thus, I am sharing only the eight suggested ‘promises and vows’.

Promises and Vows
The word ‘partner’ may be replaced with wife, husband, spouse or any other appropriate term.

Option 1

I, N, take you, N, to be my partner.
All that I am I give to you,
And all that I have I share with you.
Whatever the future holds,
for better, for worse,
for richer, for poorer,
in sickness and in health
I will love you and stand by you
as long as we both shall live.

Option 2

I, N, take you, N, to be my partner.
All that I am I give to you,
and all that I have I share with you.
Whatever the future holds,
whether sickness or health,
poverty or prosperity,
conflict or harmony,
I will love you and stand by you
as long as we both shall live.
This is my solemn promise.

Option 3

I, N, offer myself to you, N,
to be your friend, your lover,
your life long companion;
to share my life with yours;
to build our dreams together;
to support you through times of trouble,
and rejoice with you in times of happiness.
I promise to treat you with respect, love and loyalty
through all the trials and triumphs
of our lives together.
This commitment is made in love,
kept in faith, lived in hope
and eternally made new.

Option 4

I, N, take you N
To be my partner in life and my one true love.
I will cherish our sacred union
and love you more each day
than I did the day before.
I will trust you and respect you,
laugh with you and cry with you;
loving you faithfully
through good times and bad,
regardless of the obstacles
we may face together.
I give you my hand, and my love
from this day forward
for as long as we both shall live.

Option 5

I, N take you N to be my partner.
Today I promise that I will seek to be there for you
and for us, always:
to create, to live life fully,
to encourage and to share.
I promise that I will work with you for common goals,
to walk hand in hand along the paths life will unfold for us,
to create a relationship that
will weather any storms that may come our way,
to communicate openly and honestly, and
to love you faithfully,
as long as we both shall live.
This is my solemn vow.

Option 6
I take you, N, to be my partner
to laugh with you in joy;
to grieve with you in sorrow;
to grow with you in love;
serving humankind in peace and hope;
as long as we both shall live.

Option 7

From this day forward, I choose you, N,
to be my wife/husband in life;
to live with you and laugh with you,
to stand by your side and sleep in your arms;
to be joy to your heart and food to your soul;
to bring out the best in you always;
and for you, to be the most that I can.
To laugh with you in the good times;
to struggle with you in the bad;
to solace you when you are downhearted;
to share with you all my riches and honours;
to play with you even as we grow old.
I make these promises to you in love,
and until death parts us.

Option 8

I, N, take you, N, to be my partner
And these things I promise you:
I will be faithful to you with my whole life,
I will be honest with you,
I will respect, trust, help and care for you,
I will share my life with you,
I will forgive and strengthen you,
and I will grow, with you,
so that we may better to understand ourselves,
each other and the world.
Through the best and worst of what is to come…
I make these promises to you, now, and for all our lives.

The complete Sacred Union Ceremony for gay and lesbian couples, was compiled by Leanne Jenski, Robert Stringer, Warren Talbot and Susan Wickham in 2010, .  While it was created as a blessing service (prior to universal marriage rights), the inclusive and thoughtful liturgical pieces will easily transfer into a wedding liturgy.  The Sacred Union Ceremony full text is a large PDF file, available online.

The authors explain that the ceremony upholds Daniel Maguire’s definition of marriage which requires neither heterosexual coupling nor procreative possibilities and is ‘an act of Christian worship, whereby the community of the faithful bears witness to God’s love for all of God’s people – beyond human distinctions and barriers such as sexuality and gender identity. In turn, we are both invited and called to respond to God’s grace in all areas of our personal relationships and community life. As such we are guided by the major themes in the Christian Scriptures and Tradition such as grace, self-giving love, forgiveness and acceptance.’

The Sacred Union Ceremony full text is a large PDF file, available online.

The Uniting Network Australia defines itself as “a national network of lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and intersex people, their families and friends, working for safety and equality in the Uniting Church in Australia. We proudly participate in helping the Church wrestle with issues of faith, sexuality, membership and leadership, and work for greater inclusivity within the Church.”

Photo:  London wedding

Quote:  Daniel Maguire, Roman Catholic theologian, The morality of Homosexual Marriage in Same Sex Marriage: The Moral and Legal Debate, ed. Robert M. Baird and Stuart E. Rosenbaum, (Amherst, NY: Prometheus Books 1997) p.62